Beautiful takes many forms
by Saviourofthebroken
Summary: Melinda had an abusive childhood. Based on the song, Beautiful, Melinda looks over her life, and how she got to where she is now. Most of the fic is flashbacks into her childhood. Rated T with some M scenes later on.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So hey, my first Ghost whisperer one shot, hope ya'll like it (: **

**P.s im not a MAJOR gw fan like I know some of you are, so if I get silly things wrong, like their eye colour wrong, please don't judge too harshly =) x**

**Summary: Melinda had an abusive childhood. Based on the song, Beautiful, Melinda looks over her life, and how she got to where she is now. Most of the fic is flashbacks into her childhood (:**

_Everyday, its so wonderful…_

The twittering of birds woke Melinda Gordon up. She yawned and stretched, careful not to jostle too much as she would wake up her husband, Jim. She got up, smoothing down her pale pink vintage lace nightdress. Running a hand through her bed hair, she walked downstairs. Looking at wall, she smiled at the pictures in the photo frames. The first one was of her and Delia, her best friend. Delia was more than a friend, she was like the sister Melinda never had. Melinda could always count on Delia, and she's forever grateful, especially as Melinda always needed someone to be there for her. Delia would never complain when Melinda called at 3am, crying because she had a nightmare, and didn't want to call Jim home from his shift at the hospital. Delia would calm her down, and stay on the phone with her, until she fell back asleep. Next picture, was of Melinda and the teenagers down at the centre, where she helped out, and volunteered to help counsel some of the kids that had abusive backgrounds. Next was her and Jim, at their wedding. It was such a beautiful and emotional day. Melinda remembers crying so much, her make up was everywhere but she didn't care, for she was truly happy. That was the happiest day of her life, for more reasons than one. She smiled, content, and walked away. In the kitchen, she began to make breakfast for her and Jim. She sat down at the table and sighed.

_Then suddenly, its hard to breathe…_

*Flashback*

"MELINDA! You fucking brat, where are you?" a mans voice thundered angrily. Melinda whimpered, terrified as she scrambled quickly to her feet. She cant keep him waiting.

Too late…

The bedroom door flew open, shaking the wall as it crashed against it. He stood 6'5 tall, with muscles snaking up his arms. His brown hair stood up on end, and his face was red from anger. His cold eyes were reduced to slits, and he was foaming at the mouth.

"What have you done?" he bellowed, right in Melinda's face. Melinda didn't have time to answer before she was belted across the face with a huge hand. She tumbled to the ground, tears gushing down her cheeks. Her cheek stung, and she was certain she would be left with a hand shaped bruise upon her face.

"I asked you a fucking question!" he shouted. Melinda looked at the floor before answering.

"I'm sorry, t-there was no food in the kitchen and I had to make your d-d-dinner, so I went to the s-shops." Melinda mumbled, regretting today's trip to the shop. It was true, and Melinda knew it was a win-win situation for him. If she didn't go to the shop, there would be no dinner for him, and he would hit her, and if she went to the shop, it was breaking one of his many rules: do not leave the house without my permission. If she broke any rules, he would make her suffer, dearly. She always referred to Tom, her father, as him, or Tom. In her eyes, he is not her father. He is a monster, an evil twisted monster and she is terrified of him.

"So you thought you would just walk out the fucking house? What if someone recognised your ugly face, and seen the marks, you stupid little bitch! Make me my dinner now, and I will deal with you later." he snarled, spitting on the floor and walking out. Tremors wracked Melinda's poor, frail body and she began to sob, curling up on a ball, as though to protect herself from falling apart. Melinda couldn't understand what had happened to her life. Her mother, Beth walked out on her and him, to run off with another man Paul, five years ago, when Melinda was 9. That was five years ago. She left without an explanation, which left Melinda to ask herself: Was it because of her. Tom told her it was, and she believes him. Why else would her mother have felt so unhappy? Melinda knew she should have been a better child, should have wanted her mum more. She was a daddy's girl, was that why her mum left? To have another baby, that would be a mummy's girl? Tom gladly told Melinda why her mother left. It was all her fault, and Melinda couldn't see why this was wrong.

*End of flashback*

"Morning hun." Jim said to Melinda. Melinda jumped out of her trance and gasped, startled.

"Woah, you okay? Didn't mean to frighten you." he said, kissing her cheek. She looked at her husband. Still in his boxers, his hair sticking up all over the place, Jim began to put bread in the toaster. His warm eyes, full of life turned to look at her.

"What?" he asked, his head cocking slightly to the left. She smiled to herself and shook her head.

"Your beautiful." Melinda stated, catching sight oh her husbands firm butt, beautiful body and handsome face. What stuck out the most was his eyes. These were the eyes Melinda could gaze into forever, and always feel loved, safe and happy.

"As are you." he smiled, showing his pearly white teeth. Melinda looked at her watch. Beside her watch, a pale scar ran down her arm.

_Now and then I get insecure, from all the pain, feel so ashamed…_

*Flashback*

Melinda looked up just in time to see the fist rushing towards her. She didn't have time to duck, and if she had time, she wouldn't have the guts to duck, or run, or do anything. The punch caught her full on the head, and she felt the ground rush up to meet her. She crumpled in a dizzy, painful heap on the worn carpet. Kicks and punched rained down upon her, and she cried in defeat and pain. Suddenly, Tom reached out and grabbed Melinda's stick thin arm, and in a flash of silver, dragged a knife down her arm. At first, nothing happened, then crimson blood began to pour from the huge cut. Melinda gasped. She was going to die and she knew it. Suddenly, black spots swan in front of Melinda's eyes, and she fell gratefully into blackness. Hours passed before Melinda's eyes flickered open. Pain thundered in her, and she dragged herself to her feet. She felt like she had been hit with a truck. Somehow, she managed to get to her room. Her floor length mirror was in view. She closed her eyes, as she stripped naked. She walked to the mirror and opened her eyes. Melinda burst into tears.

"I am disgusting." she whispered, hatred lacing her voice.

Her body was a mass of colours. Purple, blue, black, yellow, red, with numerous shades of the colours. She turned and looked at her back. She could see the huge gashes and open wounds on her back. Tom used his belt, he must have kept hitting her when she had fell unconscious. Blood was congealed everywhere, and she looked at her arm. The blood has stopped, and she knew it had only stopped because blood had congealed onto of the cut. Melinda's eyes were outlined with purple bruises, and one of her eyes had rapidly swelled, and she had a huge raised lump above it. She eye was half closed, and her vision blurred in the other. Her skeletal frame began to tremble. Her stomach growled fiercely but she knew Tom wouldn't feed her tonight, even though she hadn't eaten in a few days. Her hips jutted out in an unnatural way. He legs looked like matchsticks, and she could see every tendon and ligament in her arms and legs. She could count her ribs, and she could see the ribs which were broke, or fractured. She looked into her eyes. They were lifeless, and hollow, Like tunnels. Dark, eerie, and and frightening.

Melinda cringed away from the mirror, emotions running wild. One emotion that stood out the most, was that she was ashamed. Ashamed of herself, for not standing up to Tom. Ashamed that she wasn't loved. Ashamed at her body. Ashamed at her life. She put on her clothes as quickly as she could, without causing too much pain, and huddled under the quilt on her bed. She cried herself to sleep, wishing she would do everyone a favour, and die.

*End of flashback*

"Melinda, im away to work." Jim said, coming in. He was so handsome looking in his work clothes. Jim had been working as a doctor for five years now, and Melinda knew he loved it. Jim always spoke about working, and Melinda knew it meant a lot to him that he could save lives. she knew he was bringing happiness to others, and that was so rewarding to Jim.

"Okay, hun, I love you, see you soon." Melinda said, getting up and planting a tender kiss upon his mouth. He kissed her back, with equal amount of love, winding his hand in her hair. He pulled away, and looked into her eyes.

"I miss you already." He smiled, kissing her again. Melinda couldn't hide her smile, and she nuzzled her face into his neck.

"I miss you more." She mumbled, knowing exactly what she was getting herself into. As she knew he would, Jim pulled her face gently to look at her, and shook his head.

"Not a chance." He grinned, playing along.

"I do to," She pouted, knowing she would win. Jim rolled his eyes lovingly and kissed her again.

"Bye hun." he smiled, and left the house. She had been with Jim for years and years, but she still got butterflies, and all giggly and smiley when he kissed her. It was like she was still a teenager. Melinda got to her feet and began to think about her outfit for today. She was going to open her shop in an hour. _Her shop_. There was always that feeling of satisfaction when she thought about her shop. Growing up and always being told she would never do any good in life, owning a shop felt like such a huge achievement. To Melinda, it was a huge achievement. The shop 'Same as it never was' sold antiques, and it was fascinating learning all the stories about the items she sold, and it meant a lot to her, being able to bring people happiness, by doing her job. She picked out a pale yellow summer dress. It was low cut, and went to Melinda's knees, billowing out slightly. Melinda ran a brush through her long brown curls, brushed her teeth, put shoes on and was off.

At the shop, Delia arrived with coffee and chocolate brownies from the little stall. Melinda began to sort out pricing lists. She turned around and found herself looking into a jewel encrusted mirror. Melinda looked at her reflection, registering the emotions. Happy. Loved. Safe. Free.

Melinda smiled. "I am beautiful." She whispered.

_I am beautiful, no matter what they say._

_Words cant bring me down_

_I am beautiful, in every single way._

_Yes, words cant bring me down_

_so don't you bring me down, today…_

A/N What did everyone think? Reviews would be nice please :)


	2. Chapter 2

The bell on the door tinkled as Melinda closed the door. She flipped the sign over so that it read CLOSED instead of OPEN. It was lunch time and she and Delia were going to grab some hot chocolate brownies and a coffee. They were treating themselves today, after making a huge investment in a few art pieces.

"Quick, or else the brownies wont be warm." Delia smiled, looking out the window. It was a beautiful day, the sun was high in the sky. The left the shop and made their towards the little stall. All around her, children ran around giggling in the sun, young couples strolled, hand in hand, looking into each others eyes, smiles on their faces. It made Melinda think of Jim, and how at this very moment, she would love nothing more that to take a romantic stroll in the square with him. Delia linked her arm in Mels and began to tell her about Ned. Melinda loved it when Delia talked about Ned, because her eyes would brighten and she would have a look that could only be described as love, on her face. Suddenly, a girl bumped into Delia. Startled, the girl began to apologize.

"I'm so sorry!" She gushed, looking anguished. Behind her, a group of girls burst into hysterical laughs. The girls lip began to tremble as one girl came forward. Melinda looked at the girl and saw herself. The girl had dark shadows under her carefully black outlined eyes. Fear was written in her features. Comparing the girls, the was so different. Complete opposites. Melinda guessed the girl wasn't popular. She wore black skinny jeans, and a long sleeved black t shirt. Her black hair was carefully styled, and her fringe hung over to one side. The other girl, wore low rise jeans that showed off her toned, tanned tummy. Her 3 inch heels clicked as she walked forwards in her tight tshirt that showed off too much cleavage for a young girl.

"Oi! Hayley! Look where you going, idiot!" the girl said, into Hayley's face. Melinda looked around but no one else was interested in what was happening. Delia had seen Ned and had disappeared. Melinda took a step forward, ready to intervene. The pretty tanned blonde girl glared at Hayley.

"You think you can get away from us, freak? You little Emo, go like, crawl under a rock! Your fucking crazy!" She hissed, her wicked eye narrowing. Hayley step sided her and took off, her converse hitting the pavement. Melinda looked after her.

"Crazy emo!" The blonde laughed to herself.

_To all your friends, your delirious. So consumed in all your doom…_

**Flashback **

"Nicolle im sorry, I swear I am, I didn't mean it." Melinda cried, her bottom lip trembling. Tears began to ooze down her cheeks. Nicolle was fuming, her hands on her hips, towering over Melinda.

"I don't fucking care! Your jealous!" She hissed, trying to stop her voice shaking. Melinda wasn't jealous. She wasn't lying either. Josh was going to ask her to go out with him, so he could have sex with her. It was a bet. Melinda overheard them. When she told Nicolle, he had already asked her out and she said yes. Nicolle couldn't believe her best friend could make up lies. Melinda was terrified. Nicolle was her only friend, all her other friends deserted her because Melinda acted weird. They still hissed crazy at her when she walked past. She couldn't lose Nicolle. Without her, she didn't know what she would do.

"Know what Melinda? Your delirious, your making up stories because you cant stand seeing me with someone else that wont be you. You didn't even see that I was upset the other day! I had to tell you that I was upset, before you even noticed!" She said, breathing heavily. Melinda silently cried, not wanting to upset her more. Nicolle screamed in frustration.

"Your so consumed in all your doom Melinda Gordon, and I take nothing more to do with you." She snarled, and walked away leaving Melinda alone.

** End of flashback **

"Melinda. Melinda. Melinda!" Delia cried, startling Melinda out of her memories.

"Im sorry what?" Melinda said, rubbing her head.

"I said lets go." Delia smiled. Melinda nodded and they followed the smell of chocolate brownies to the stall. Melinda tummy growled in hunger and she licked her lips. There was a hollow feeling inside Melinda. Melinda wondered if it was just because she was hungry. They paid for their brownies and found a bench to sit on. Taking a bite, Melinda pondered over what had happened. She felt so angry and sad. She felt sad for Hayley. She knew what it was like to put up with that shit. She got it everyday growing up. She felt all the emotions that came with it. Fear. Loneliness. Bitterness. Resentment. Angriness. Worthlessness. Ashamed. The list was endless and it never got any better. The hollow feeling was getting worse and Melinda was feeling it. All she wanted to do was cry, but she wouldn't. Not in front of anyone. Not even Jim. It hurt Melinda that she would have private crying sessions and she wouldn't tell Jim. The only reason she didn't want to tell him was because that would mean admitting it. It means that she is still being affected by her past, that's she weak. So weak that she some flashbacks leave her curling up in a ball on the floor, shaking and crying.

"Delia, do you mind if I just go home, im not feeling too good." Melinda mumbled. Delia looked at her friend. She was pale and her hands were shaking slightly.

"Sure, there's not much to do in the shop anyway, we got it all done at the weekend." Delia nodded. Melinda got to her feet began to walk home. Walking along, she closed eyes, feeling the sun warm on her back. She got home and shut the door behind her.

"Jim?" she called out. There was no answer. She knew how to fill the emptiness. She took out her phone and dialled the number.

"Hey Jim, I just wanted to call for a chat. When do you go on your lunch break?" She asked, already feeling a little better. Jims voice, like honey, filled her ear. Ity was like music to her, and she was memorised.

"It just so happens im on break now. Whats up?" he asked.

"I just wanted a chat, ive been feeling a bit down. Know what will make me feel better Jim?" She asked, her voice overly hopeful. She heard Jim sigh on the other end of the receiver.

"I wanna go to Disneyland!" She giggled, and she heard Jim sigh again, but she could hear the smile.

"We're not going to Disneyland, we're going to the Bahamas." He laughed. They had been playing this out. They didn't want to go to these places, but they loved play fighting over it. Melinda already felt better and suddenly, there was a voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey honey, I gotta go. See you soon, I love you." Jim said.

"Yeah, love you too." Melinda got in before the line went dead a second later.

Melinda looked around the house. She wandered into the bathroom. Suddenly, she slipped and began to fall. She flung her arm out, trying to hold onto the kitchen sink. There was a searing pain and Melinda hit the floor. There was a clatter as something else fell. She began to laugh at her own stupidity, but then gasped. Beside her, a razor had fallen and there was a huge cut on her arm. She realised when she threw out her hand, she cut herself on the razor. She stared at the cut and I began to blur.

_Trying hard to fill the emptiness…_

*Flashback*

Tom grunted as he lay on top of her. With a final thrust and a moan of pleasure, he rolled of her. Melinda was frozen, and numb. It took over her when Tom looked at her, giving her that certain look. Melinda knew what was going to happen when he looked at her like that. He was going to rape her.

"Get your chores done before I get back." Tom said calmly, zipping up his trousers. Tears were still pouring out of her eyes and running down the side of her face into her hair. Melinda cringed. She felt so dirty and used. She was just some toy that he loved to fuck and beat the shit out of. Tom walked out and a few minutes later, Melinda heard the front door bang shut and the cars tyres pulling away from the house. Melinda began to scream and claw at herself. She dragged her nails up her legs, ripping the skin off. Melinda concentrated on this pain. It was easier to concentrate on this pain, than the pain that she felt on the inside.

Melinda climbed off the bed and walked into the bathroom, still naked. She pulled open the cupboard and began to rummage in it. She found what she wanted. A razor. By hitting it, she broke away the plastic till she was left with just the blade. She sat on the floor. She looked at her exposed flesh, hating it, hating herself. She held out her arm, and slowly dragged the blade across her wrist. She knew not to do it deep. Nothing happened, then suddenly, blood began to trickle out of the thin red cut. She repeated it four more times and began to cut her other arm. For the first time in ages, Melinda felt powerful and in control. She would be the one who decided if she was going to cut, not anyone else. Melinda smiled, despite all that was happening. She flinched as she pressed the blade into her thigh. The pain that she had inflicted upon herself was easier to bear, than the pain inside her. Melinda began to cut herself at every opportunity, and if Tom noticed, he never mentioned it.

*End of Flashback*

Melinda looked at the blood running down her arm. She could see all her scars from her past, from her self harming. Blood began to drip onto the floor but Melinda didn't notice. She was staring at her reflection in the mirror.

"I am beautiful." She whispered, reminding herself that she was loved.

_You are beautiful, no matter what they say._

_Words cant bring you down._

_You are beautiful in every single way_

_Yes words cant bring you don't,_

_So don't you bring me today…_


End file.
